I love this song so much I decided to put it as my title. If no one has heard this song its Energy - Keri Hilson!

So as you all may know I started college last Wednesday and I was so nervous I could barely sleep Tuesday night. I had some many thoughts going through my head about how my teacher would be, how people would look at me (lol), was I really ready for college or was I just kidding myself? Well I went to class Wednesday and I see a girl who has a math book like mine so I went up and asked if she had the same class and she said yes and we talked for a bit. I ended up following her around for a little bit until our class. I didn’t get her name but she was really nice so that eased me. My class started at 10:30 and to my surprise there weren’t many people in the class (there are like 14 people give or take) and my teacher is really nice. She is from my hometown which is cool but I don’t know her lol.

All my classes seem easy my public speaking and history class I enjoy them so far. My language class is what is stumping me I hate language always have lol. In my math class we got homework our first day but it was super easy so its all good and I really enjoy that class already I love math.

I should be getting my money back from my pell grant and as far as I know I have 600 plus dollars coming back and I already know I’m getting a new cell phone and I’m going clothes shopping because I need to badly. But when I get my money back for next semester I’m gonna try to save it so I can go to Canada and finally see Leighanne!! Her and I have been talking about it and I’m really excited about it if I can do it. My parents don’t care if I go but they just don’t think I will get on a plane and yes I am scared of flying but I’ve never done it before. I hope that I get to because I really wanna go there because it will be my first time to travel and travel by myself. I get scared because I’m from such a small town and then going to a bigger town/city it scares me.

Well last Tuesday we got hit in our car. I was driving and my parents were in the car with me and I was coming out of the parking lot of my mom’s work and I had a car behind me and this lady was backing out of a driveway while I was turning and I had to stop and honk my horn and she just kept backing up! I was so scared no lie! She ended up hitting our bumper with her trailer hitch and putting a little over 600 dollars worth of damage to it. We have to take it to the body shop tomorrow and its gonna be in there for two days so we get a rental car for those two days so I’m hoping they give us a nice one lol. I was surprised that it did that much damage because it doesn’t look that bad but who knows.

Well on to a serious note I’m becoming really worried about one of my friends and if I tell them that I’m worried they are just gonna make me feel stupid for even saying it to them. Well here’s the problem my friend likes to drink and smoke (drugs) and I’m starting to wonder if its not becoming a habit and not just to do it to have fun or whatever they think. I mean everytime I talk to them they are always messed up either drunk or high or both and it just worries me. I mean what would you all do if it you had a friend like that and you were worried. I’m just scared that the drugs will advance to something harder like meth, coke, or whatever because weed won’t be good enough anymore for them. Now I don’t do stuff like that and I try to stay straight with that but I do drink every so often. I also like when I tell my friend that I’m worried about them it doesn’t seem to mean anything when I say it but I feel like if someone else told them that they would think its so nice of them to have someone care about them. Not to long ago I found myself praying that they would get home safely and that they didn’t hurt themselves or someone else. I just keep telling myself if they don’t care and they don’t care enough about me to be safe when they do things like that why should I? I’m not trying to be anyone’s mother I’m just trying to show that I care for you. But knowing my luck they will take it as I’m obsessed with them and that’s not the case. I hate how people read too much into things don’t you?!

But on to me lol. Lately I have just stopped liking meat (I know that’s a weird and random thing hehe) but it just happened all of a sudden. I dunno what’s going but whatever I mean its not a big deal to me but I just don’t eat it like I use to. I don’t like beef, pork, or chicken too much anymore. So I dunno I’m guessing its probably just a phrase.

But I’m off now because I need to do my comments and try to find something to do with the rest of my night. Later everyone!!

Ever wonder why you do things sometimes? I do I feel that way about my site because I hardly get anyone to comment on my blogs so why do I waste my time typing up things or putting so much work in to it anymore. I know I might be sounding selfish but why waste my time if I hardly get any kind of visitors I’m just starting to think its pointless. I’m sure most of you guys feel like the same way.

Anyhow I go and get my books tomorrow! I’m excited about getting them because it makes me feel official I guess you can say. My friend Amanda is going with me because she’s getting her books as well and she knows more about what I have to do and so she’s gonna help me. I also have to get my parking pass for the campus and so does she.

So yesterday my parents went garage selling my mom hasn’t done that in forever since I was like in my late teens lol I know such a long time I’m only 21 lol. My dad came into my room awhile I was asleep and told me he had something to show me so I got up and followed him and he brought an old fashion ice cream maker for 25 cents lol. We had an electric ice cream maker but we could never figure it out lol so we took it back. My dad and I made ice cream for the first time today and it came out like ice cream so we were excited lol yeah we’re dorks hehe. My dad ate some of it after we let it freeze for a bit and so did I and it tasted like vanilla ice cream even tho I didn’t use heavy whipping cream I used half and half but it worked just the same so yay me.

But I’m gonna get a picture of the ice cream maker sometime soon and my mom asked why I take pictures of silly things of like random things and I told her and she’s like oh. I feel like this ice cream maker is an antique and it will be worth some money one of these days and she agreed. I was also telling her that her radio is an antique because my mom has this old radio and record player I’m talking about a record player that plays 45s and like pizza size records lol. Those records alone are gonna be worth money but my mom said that they are already worth money.

But as I was saying in my last blog about my friend Steven. I finally found that he wasn’t in prison anymore he got out last year on December 28th (haha my friend’s Mandy’s birthday). I was talking to Nancy and she helped well basically she found him on myspace and there was a number on his profile to get ahold of him since he doesn’t have a computer so I saved the number in my cell phone and last night I finally got up the nerve to call him. The first time I called him no one answered so I figure I would wait for a little bit and then try again and I did and I finally got an answer and he was there! He got on the phone and I said hello and he didn’t even remember my voice lol and he asked who it was and I told him that it was Kilanda and he’s like oh hey! We talked for about 8 minutes not very long but he did tell me that he was over here not too long ago. He was “lit” when I talked to him and that wasn’t the greatest time to talk to him because I don’t even know if he heard half the things I said lol. I told him that I figured he thought I forgot about him and I told him no one could forget Steven and he started laughing but all in all it was great to talk to him and I’m glad that I got up the nerve to do it! I’m also proud of him that he’s been out for almost a year and I hope that he can stay out of trouble. Nothing about him has changed really (I’m not trying to say that in a bad way or anything) only thing that has changed about him is his voice it sounds different.

So last Thursday (7th) was the anniversary of my aunt’s passing it marks six years since she’s been gone. Every year around this time I just kinda shut down and I don’t wanna be bothered with anything or anyone because I feel so bad. Even after six years I still cry everytime I write something about her I think its because I wish that she could hear me or I wish that she knew how I really felt about her before her passing. I guess you can say I have a lot of regrets like never being able to say goodbye to her or not being there for her when she was asking for me. I feel like such a horrible person when I think about it . I hope she can forgive me and I hope that I will be able to start letting myself forgive me. My parents and I were sitting at the dinner table tonight and I brought my aunt up and we started reliving old days and laughing and my mom said there’s never gonna be another Elginora and that’s true there will be she’s truly one of a kind. I just hope that I will be half the woman she was. My aunt helped so many people even people she didn’t know she would house them and give them food and give them her bed even if that meant her sleeping on the floor and even when they treated her badly she never let that change her heart. I mean don’t get me wrong she was a tough cookie she would cuss anyone who made her mad or crossed her path she stood up for herself and even if she cussed you out or told you things you didn’t wanna hear people still loved and respected her. I mean she even cussed out the pastor who preached her funeral but that was my aunt hehe. But he wasn’t mad about it he made us all laugh at her funeral because he told us she would never want us to be sad on this day but to be happy and celebrate and to know that she’s in a better place now. I truly believe that she is in a better place and that she is looking down on me and that she is proud.

But on to more cheerful news! Sorry about bring anyone down or making you guys think of things you might have not wanted to think about please forgive me. But as you see I have put up a new layout. The layout is simple and it will do for now. I honestly can’t believe that my Madonna layout stayed up for a whole month and week and a day lol. I have no clue how long this is gonna be staying up but we’ll see. I tried to make this layout more colorful and I hope you guys like them.

Oh I forgot I also got to see my friend Kelly’s little girl who is 2 weeks and a day old and I got a picture of her. Her name is Ava Rose and she’s such a cutie she’s got a full head of black hair. I have pictures to post so I guess I will end this post with pictures and as always click to enlarge them.

Oh also if you are from despair and you don’t comment I am starting to report but you don’t have to say that you are from despair I check site addresses.

Hey everyone! I know its been awhile since I last updated *bad me* . So I know that my last post wasn’t too exciting and I’m really sorry about that. I just don’t really have anything exciting going on in my life and its ashame honestly. Most people have more things going on in their life than me lol.

As far as for the title of my blog “crazy how things work” well I will tell what its about. Well I had a cousin who recently went to prison and my cousin Joyce came down Saturday and she came by the house and she was talking to my mom. She told my mom that there was a site you can go to, to look up people in prison to see where they are placed at and what they did and how long they have and so on. So my mom gave me the address because I have a couple of people I know who have been prison so I looked them up! I found my old friend Steven and I found out what prison he is in and I’ve been wanting to writing him but I dunno how exactly the prison system works like if I can send him a letter without his permission. I thought I would because I know he’s had a really hard time since i last talked to him which was six years ago. I also talked to his dad’s girlfriend at her work because I use to go out to where she worked all the time and I would ask about him from time to time. I miss him a lot because we use to be pretty good friends back in the day. It makes me sad that his life has turned out like this he’s been in and out of jail and prison ever since 2004 ever since he was 17 years old and he is now 22 years old. He’s currently serving a 3 year sentence for assault. I thought I would send him a letter because maybe it would make him feel good to know that someone does care about him and is thinking about him. I miss his laugh lol he had such an addicting laugh which I have myself hehe. But you know what I mean if you have ever heard someone laugh and it just made you wanna laugh too hehe. I mean I’m all about making people feel better because honestly I think he needs it. From what Jenny (his dad’s gf) has told me his dad doesn’t have much to do with him because he doesn’t wanna straighten up and his mom is kinda out there or something and I told Jenny that he’s gonna keep doing whatever because he knows no one cares about him or what he does.  As long as I’ve known him he has pretty much done anything he’s wanted. I just think that people can be different if they know that people care about them and maybe that’s what he needs too. I remembered the last time I spoke to him it was in our gym class in 2002 and he had told me he was gonna drop out of school because he had gotten his girlfriend pregnant and he was gonna go get a job to support them and the baby ended up not being his I felt so sad for him. After that day I never saw him or heard from him and I still haven’t to this day. When I saw his mugshots he didn’t look any different from years ago only difference is he has facial hair which I think is funny because not many of us have changed I mean I still look the same all but maybe my hair hehe.

So Friday I went to the dinner and a movie with a couple of my friends and let me tell you it was hell! First off we ate at one of our favorite Mexican places in town and that was a bad mistake because one of my friends seen her baby daddy with her ex-friend or whatever and her ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend so she got all mad. She got up from our table and went over there and said something to him and me and my other friend was so embarrassed because we told her not to but she didn’t listen. Basically she made herself have a bad night and she brought us down with her. So after we had got out of the movie she wanted to go to wal-mart to get daughter a birthday gift and I was just nicely told her that she might wanna get over to the right lane and she just snaps and says “I fucking hate when people try to tell me how to drive it pisses me off” so that was it for me I just shut up and didn’t say a damn thing the whole way home and that was like a 30 minute ride. I’m just tired of it I’m tired of the drama because it makes no sense. I don’t like drama I try to stay drama free as much as I can. I knew that we were gonna have a crappy night and that’s what pissed me off after we got done eating I knew it was gonna be down hill from that. I should have just said take me home or something and did something else but no I tried to keep thinking positive but yeah I should have known better.

Then Saturday I went over to my friend’s parents house and hung out with my friends and her friend’s daughter. That girl is such a cutie hehe she walked over to me and she stared at me and started smiling all big showing me all her little baby teeth hehe. It was just too cute and its hard to believe that she’s a year old now and she has the prettiest blue eyes which I’m still trying to figure out how she got them because my friend’s eyes are green and her boyfriend’s are brown I believe but whatever lol.

Last Saturday Kelly had her baby girl and I’m so happy for her. My mom and dad got to see her in person at wal-mart on Friday and my mom said she is just beautiful so I’m a little mad because they got to see her in person lol. Kelly ended sending me a picture on my sister’s phone so I got to see her a little but I can’t wait to see her in person. She has the prettiest black hair just like Kelly I knew that her daughter would be pretty.

So next Monday, Amanda and I are going to go get our books for school and I’m excited because its getting closer to that time. Her and I were looking at how much books cost and I’m so glad that I don’t have to pay for any of them lol. I’m glad that my pell grant takes care of that too because I have like a little over 1,000 dollars after my fall semester is paid for.

It was crazy because last week or the week before my sister told my dad that my ex-boss was asking her what I was doing and told her he might be able to give me some days if I was interested. That’s never happened to me never have I walked out and pretty much got my job offered back to me. I dunno if I wanna take it tho because he wants me to do one overnight and that’s why I quit in the first place I hate overnights and now that I’m starting school I’m not about to have my sleep route messed up. I told my sister if he asks again tell him I might do it if they can work with me and if not then no. She told me that he hasn’t been there so she doesn’t know what’s going on. So I guess I will have to see.

I got my sister’s old laptop last week she’s selling it to us for 175 bucks which is pretty cheap considering there’s nothing wrong with it. I did mess it up though but I fixed. I put vista on it and everything worked fine but the clock and speakers so I switched it back over to xp Thursday and it works great. There was a little line in the screen but I fixed it so it runs great. Its a Toshiba Satellite M45. Its pretty nice I’m gonna be looking for a skin for it or design one for it and the plus side of it my sister gave me a cute pink and black bag for it and I love it lol. I’m a huge fan of pink.

Oh my mom also told me that I was gonna get a new cousin because my cousin Jeff is getting married in two weeks and my cousin Joyce (his mother) isn’t too happy about it but there’s nothing she can do about it he’s 20 years old. I mean if he’s happy what’s wrong with it. She doesn’t like it because she’s not black and I was like who cares my sister goes out with a white guy no one cares anymore lol. My parents don’t care who we go out with as long as they treat us right. In this town my sister and I can’t date any black guys because we are related to them all so yeah lol. We always joke about if we did meet a black guy we would have to have a complete break down of his family tree before we even hold hands lol . Last Saturday I found out I was related this girl who I had talked to like once I had a feeling that she might be related to me but I had to ask my mom to double check and she told me yes. So maybe I should write her a message on facebook and tell her that we are cousins who knew hehe. I might do that lol.

So seriously I’m gonna try to get a new layout up on my site. This layout has been for a long time and I can’t believe I have had it up this long honestly but if I can ever get over a freaking layout block I will be doing a new one. I’m also working on a photo gallery for myself I have to get it to look just right before I release it. Alright well I’m off so talk to everyone later!

Oh a little side note has anyone upgraded their wordpress to 2.6? If so do you like it? Lemme know!

Hey everyone! I’m here to post again and I finally got this picture to work finally which is crazy how much you have to do to get a freaking picture to work in wordpress 2.5.2 I mean seriously! But anyhow as far as this picture goes its a picture of what happened after the storm earlier today! No this isn’t my house so yeah hehe I found this picture on the newspaper website. So I woke up this morning at like 8:38AM and I was just sitting in my bed watching the Golden Girls like I do every weekday if I get up early enough to watch. But it was a sunny day until around 9:30-10:00 and then it got dark and all you hear is BOOM! and it was thunder and lightning and it was loud too made me jump a few times. I was watching tv and then my dad comes into my room and tells me he has something to show me and I followed him and it was a tree limb that had fell out of our neighbor’s tree. Luckily our car wasn’t sitting in the driveway because if it was then we would have a messed up car and we know that the neighbor landlord wouldn’t even try to pay for it. My parents have called the owner of the house next to us to tell her about the tree but she just basically ignored it. The funny thing about it is our insurance guy’s mother-in-law is the owner of our neighbor’s house so I told my dad it would be funny to have to go and tell Charlie that his mother-in-law has to pay for the damage for our car hehe.

So for like months I haven’t been able to find our usb cord for our digital camera and we have tore my room and the computer apart basically looking for and we haven’t been able to find it. I miss taking pictures hehe so Monday I called out to Radio Shack and asked them if they had any cord for my camera and they said they would have to see the camera so I took it out there. They didn’t have any usb cords that would fit and I started to get sad seriously but lucky she had a usb thing that I could put my memory card in and get the pictures that way and it was cheaper. I hope my mom gets that thing I dunno exactly what its called but I really want it because I want to take pictures of things again hehe.

Also our internet connection actually got updated I believe we were working with a 1 Meg and now they moved it up to 3 Megs which is awesome because now it will go faster.

So earlier tonight I was bored and I was on my desktop and I decided to google myself haha and don’t act like you’ve never done it. Well anyhow I googled my name and I found a bunch of weird stuff like there’s places and an apartment named after me lmao! I thought that was funny. So maybe you should google yourself and see what you find don’t be ashamed if you do it hehe.

My mom talked to my uncle yesterday and he said that he really enjoyed his cruise which is awesome I’m really glad to hear that he liked it. My mom said he asked if she was gonna go next year and my mom said no lol it only cost 400 bucks to go and you can make payments I think it would be cool to go. One of these days I wanna go to Canada and see Leigh! Her and I talk about it all the time but we really wanna meet each other and I looked on google maps to see how far we live from each other and we only live 14 hours from each other! I would love to take a road trip there if I had the money for everything it would be awesome. She’s about to do a road trip from LA to Portland, OR and then from Portland, OR to Canada crazy but it would be great to see the northern part of the states. I hope that she enjoys herself she has done a lot of traveling this summer lucky girl hehe.

So onto myself lol I have been trying to stay semi meat free this month and so far I’ve done pretty good. I have had fish and eggs but I don’t really think eggs should count hehe but whatever. I’m not saying that I hate meat or anything but I just don’t like to eat a lot of it. I have changed my eating a lot I don’t eat fried foods, and I don’t drink soda with caffeine anymore and I try to drink a lot of water (that doesn’t always happen ). I don’t eat at any fast food places but I do eat at Subway but that’s not a fast food place hehe.

But now onto world news I dunno if anyone has been hearing about the little girl who is missing in Florida I believe! Its a sad story really she’s been missing for almost a month and the mother just reported her missing like a week or so ago. But now they think that the mother killed her because they found dirt and a trace of Caylee’s hair in the mother’s trunk! I don’t understand how sick people can honestly be what is wrong with people! People are killing and hurting innocent kids and pitiful. I mean if you are gonna treat your kids like that here’s a hint don’t freaking open up your legs or here’s another couple of things they have invented called condoms and birth control oh wow miracle workers they are…try them! People like that piss me off so badly. There are so many people in the world who can’t have kids and people who can are killing them its just unbelievable honestly.

I was also hearing about this Army nurse I believe who’s husband and his friend killed her and then tried to chop her up and set her on fire! What the fuck people I mean really. I don’t get why people who don’t like being with their other half just leave them you don’t have to kill them. Hearing stories like that scare the crap out of me you know seriously. I mean you have to think about those girls and how many of them thought they knew their husbands and then they do something like this.

But onto something a little more upbeat! I’m working a new layout for my site! I have made one and its totally different from any one I have made before and I’m proud of it and I hope I can get it coded right. I’m gonna work on that tomorrow probably and try it to get it to look good. Well alright I am off now and I hope my blog was too boring for you all. But I am off to continue to text Leigh and surf the net and jam to music and I will return all comments here soon. Later Y’all!

Hey my lovely vistors!  I’m finally doing a blog again and I’m sorry it didn’t come any sooner but I got lazy and didn’t want to type lol.

So I made such a big deal about my uncle coming here to visit right?! Well let me tell you how that weekend turned out!  Friday night my mom cleaned our house as good as we could and my mom was so happy to be able to see her brother after four years.  We got up really early Saturday morning and eat breakfast and finished any little cleaning we had left to do.  Well time went by and my mom called her sister Florence (I refuse to call her my aunt because I don’t consider her to be just because she’s my mom’s sister doesn’t mean crap to me!) to see where my uncle was and she told my mom that my uncle had missed his flight and he would be in at 1:45.  She goes on to tell my mom that he will be down depending on if he had enough time they had to catch a flight at 4AM Sunday morning to get to Florida for their cruise.  Well anyhow 2 o’clock came around and my uncle called and told my mom that he couldn’t make it down here because he wouldn’t have enough time.  Tell me how fucked up that is?!  I get so pissed off because we live like 2 hours aways from my mom’s sisters they just forget about her and it makes me so mad.  Florence doesn’t like coming down here because to her we live in the “country” and I’m like what the hell she was born in the “country” she needs to stop acting so fucking high class because she has no more than my mom so she needs to just get off her high horse.   She makes me mad because when my AUNT passed away (who is her sister) she asked someone if she really had to go to the funeral NEWS FLASH no one cared if you showed up or not!  How rude can you be and how disrespectful can you possibly be.  So after that I don’t like her don’t say something like that even if you had your problems that is still your sister but she doesn’t claim them as her family.  I could go on and on about how mad she makes me.   But my uncle is suppose to be coming down in August the beginning of it so we will see if we get the chance to see him or not.  We should because he’s coming down for Park Day along with my cousin Rodney aka Stink (hehe) and Park Day is held in our hometown so haha for us!  I like Park Day because I get to see all the cousins I haven’t seen in forever.  So hopefully that will be a good day.

Well as far as the site goes I have two new affiliates Jessica and Lisa Marie so go visit them and give them some traffic hehe. I’m trying to write more tutorials I have just been lazy and I dunno why. Hopefully I will be out of that mood soon but who knows.  I’ve made like four themes to start my free theme section on my site and I have two coded up but I still need to do some tweaking with them.   I’m trying to get more traffic to my site so I’m gonna start reading and comment on people’s blog and hopefully I will get more visitors to my site.  If anyone has any idea how to get traffic then I would love to hear about it.  I am apart of desapir.nu but right now it seems like they having some problems.  I would join button rotations but their codes aren’t validated and I’m trying to keep my wordpress validated.  So I have no clue.

So on to my life I guess you could call it that lol.  As far as my title goes to my blog.  Has anyone just sat back and just looked at their lives and thought when did things changes?  I was thinking about that yesterday when I was talking to my friend on the phone.  I was just thinking about how we just grew up so fast and everything just changes.  Most of my friends are mothers are soon-to-be mothers and my guy friends are fathers and I’m like seriously in the middle with no kids.  I’m not saying I wanna go out and have kids so I can fit in oh no lol.  But it just amazes me how things change so quickly.  Never would I ever thought most of my friends would be mothers or thinking about getting married at this age.   Then I think about all the friendships that have changed.  You know how you think you are gonna be friends forever no matter what and you think about how when you become grown up we’d have those girls night out and then suddenly something happens and you stop talking for what you think at that time is so important but now you look back you think is stupid.  I have been thinking about how I’ve had my share crushes and how I don’t like how they think just because you had a crush on them you are still like that after years and throw away a friendship over it?  I’ve been there as well and I don’t like how people become so big headed after awhile.

Also have you ever felt like maybe your friends were doing better and doing more with their lives than you were? I felt like that all the time before I got my GED!  I felt like with my friends and all my classmates graduating and not taking the easy way out that they were better than me and would make something better of themselves than I ever would.  But I have to honestly say when I got my GED it was the proudest moment of my life it was even bigger than me getting my driver license lol.  I know when I went to Wal-Mart to cash the check my GED teacher gave me from her church for the money I put into getting my GED the girl was looking at the check and she told me she tried three times to get her GED but she couldn’t do it.   I just kinda felt proud because someone actually made me feel like it wasn’t taking the easy way out.  Most people told me that taking the GED test was the easiest way to do it but they don’t understand how much pressure it actually is to try to pass everything.  I am just really proud of myself and I’m glad to see that my dreams are starting to slowly come true and to think my mom tells me all the time I dream too much what is life without dreams?!

I just keep thinking about how much my life has changed since I was 16 years old and it has changed a lot I have had to deal with a lot of things on my own.  I had friends come and go and had to find out the hard way who my true friends were.  I also learned that you can’t please everyone and its hard to remember that.  Sometimes I wish I wasn’t so nice and could just have that natural habit of speaking my mind. I hate when I do stick up for myself people make me feel like a bad person for doing and they forget that I’m a human.

So I guess my little message to people is be proud of who you are and what you have accomplished in your life and know that its not too late to do something with it if you feel you need a change.   Well I’m off to watch Family Guy I love Stewie!  I know that was so random but hehe I hope my blog didn’t bore you to tears and if so *hands you a tissue* lol.